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Jan 16, 2005 :: The Monk's Monday Lesson #5
After this match
(A side note from Samm’s Side Pocket)
The other night, while I was racking the balls during a league match, my opponent says to me, “You could at least smile.” I could?!?!? Really??? Since when did playing a match against someone entitle them to a smile from me? Regardless of whether it was for money, for league, or for the U.S. Open, I do not “at least” need to smile at anyone. So, I politely responded, “We can be friends after this match.”
Don’t get me wrong. I am always respectful, cordial, and gracious towards my opponents. However, I do not feel it is necessary to be friends or friendly during a match. Anyone, friend of foe, that has recently played a match against me knows that once the coin is flipped or the balls are lagged, I am no longer your friend. In fact, I am ready to destroy you.
This was another difficult transition for me, as I have always been the social butterfly who mingles with everyone between matches and chats with my opponent about the latest news. It was not until recently that I realized I could still be everyone’s friend, only after my match(es). My peers will not respect me any less for not socializing with them during our match.
So now, I make my rounds before and/or after the tournament and stay fairly incognito. Then, during my match, I will sit away from my opponent. The farther away I am, the less likely I am to end up in a conversation with them. Forget who you’re playing. It doesn’t matter. Once the last ball drops, you can ask them what kind of cue they’re shooting with or where they got those shoes. During the match, I don’t even like to make eye contact with my opponent unless it’s necessary.
In his prime, The Monk has been quoted saying, “I love you before this game and I will love you after this game.” What’s wrong with that? You can not win by allowing your emotions or relationship with your opponent effect your performance during that match. Just finish them! The friendship will still be there afterwards.
